We Alright

Life get's hard sometimes but you know it's gonna be all right
Not gonna run and we not givin' up, no, we gonna fight
If anybody ask how we are let them know that we all right
But when the time comes you gonna shine so bright, let them see your light
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!

Rest In Peace

Remember Uncle Joe and good ol Aunt Sheila

Way back in 04 when i was a mofo

Tony brushed shoulders with Joe on Solomons' dancefloor

thirty years Tonys senior but eyes on the same gal

Who won - obvious, Joe's car cost 3 times Tony's.

Had dude's lil gal asking "Who's Tony?"

Word : my nucca Tony tony couldnt take this

"i Love her tj" he said " what imma do"

Im thinking "Gawd Damn Joe, you did it again"

Aunt Sheila, she knows, she forgive him again

Been too many weeks since Sheila's "lil friend" came to town

Routine check at the doctors, She pregnant again :

But wait

Doctor Silas aint smiling like before,

Gosh, thats a frown, whats wrong this time

"Sheila dear, we need to do more blood tests"

"white blood cell count low, Im sorry it aint looking good"

A bit later its confirmed its HIV

"In a few more months it'll be full blown AIDS, Im sorry" as aunt Sheila wept

Uncle Joe is quiet, knows its his fault

"Lucky Tony" I thought - when the news came in

Damn, Aunt Sheila, Im sorry, but am lost for words

Tears trickling down her face

My Phat Farm t her napkin

No words came out, i just held her tight

"Lets say a prayer" I said " God aint blind"

"You good people aunt, I cant accept this - this aint the end"

"Charisma" group meetings on Fridays at church

Uncle Joe - he coming with us

Good Lawd, HIV brings you back down to Earth

Father Gabriel prays - we do rosary everyday

They say, Father Pachibora is coming to town

Father P comes, and lays hands on Aunt and Uncle

Years pass, aunt and uncle still here and looking fit

A trip to the doctors, What, theres no more HIV

A happy family, we got everyone smiling again

But WAIT

Uncle Joe, is coming home late again

Damnit, this nucca be cheating again.,

Running around town - yes He lying again

The HIV is back again

At least this time Sheila had him strapping it in

Joe had a 2nd shot and threw it down the drain

Good folk still meeting

Prayers on everyday

But Father P aint coming again

"I gave you another chance, and u wasted it away" God said

"You cant throw away the gift of life

nucca you take it or leave it"

So Uncle Joe's no-more

another relative gone, another tatoo,

another name sprayed on the car back window for a month

Another family shattered in tears

another night on my knees and another name added to my prayers

Another name chanted when we pour out the liquor..

DAMN!

Rest In Peace.

Yes you....

You're just too good to be true

I cant take my eyes off you

You feel like heaven to touch

OH, how I want you so much

You're just too good to be true

You smile will brighten up my day

With you it's heaven here on earth

My heart was captured by you

Cant find the word to express

Just how much you mean to me

I feel I'm 13 once again

Feelings so Innocent and pure

Even the stars that're up above

Come out and dance when you are near

The sun will shine for all day

There will be no more rainy days

Nothing's impossible with you

Holding my hand and leading me

Or be it you pushing me through

Any barriers in my way

The kinda lady I wanna show off

You'd put a smile on my momma's face

I'd be the envy of all men

Once they know of all your qualities

Honest, Truthful, Committed, Trustworthy, Sweet, Calm, Spirited, Confident, Charming, Gorgeous, Respectful, Loving, Honorable, Sexy (HOT), Intelligent, Wise

I wanna hold you for so long

OH, How I love you so much

Yes, you're too good to be true

And I cant take my eyes off you...

I need you, baby

And if it's quite alright

I need you baby

To warm a lonely night

I want you baby

To stay with me and let me love you baby

Trust in me when I say

I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:-)

A Story told in so many stories : edited version

It's musical - thats what it is. You'd have to understand to understand, cuz if you dont understand, then you wont understand. An open mind helps. Prejudice dosen't help. Google might come in handy. Urban dictionary probably more than should be needed. Banter, banter, banter, subliminal shots, sarcasm,

The standards set were too high - unattainable and unrealistic some complained - out of this world some said - foolish and stupid they said - naivety was the conclusion. Or was it just a fear of the possibility of achievement of set standards and therefore a non-conforming mindset - OUTCAST?hmmm??

#nowplaying Tupac - Unconditional Love

"its hard to live this life without God, so we must ask for forgiveness"

i believe - I know some are shocked cuz I dont go on about it - but yep - staunch Catholic here..

"perhaps its just a fantasy"

like U2 sang "stuck in a moment, that you cant get out of"..and not necessarily because you cant get out of it - but because it is the best moment you have ever experienced and you dont want to get out of it...

"You must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark"

For you will always be in my heart. It's Unconditional Love. Sometimes it seems as if it cant possibly get any worse - and it does - and then it seems like its the end of the world...until that lil glimmer of light shines through the crack..like a rose growing from a crack in the concrete..

"Eternally my mission is to be more than just a rap musician"

brings back that whole catch 22 notion - nothing ever turns out how we want it to..and we play the cards we're dealt. Cant always get a royal flush now can we. Make the best of the things we have.

#nowplaying "touched The Sky - Dennis Ferrer"

I touched the sky because of you. If she/he makes you feel ike you touched the sky - like Impossible is nothing....she's/he's a keeper..oh, and if "she" loves football, or at least watches it with you..a keeper (lol)..i had to say that..

#nowplaying MeatLoaf - I Would do anything for Love

..but I wont do that..and that's give up...

So my obsession with music continues - from Saosin down to Bob Marley..faithless to Tupac..Kenny G to Scooter..every bit of music made. Why? Because music is the universal language (forget football)...and wherever you go, whatever you do, whoever you meet - they can understand some form of music - so if you cant express yourself - but are musically endowed, then it can make things easier..

Impossible is nothing!

If music be the food of love - play on! If music be the food of LIFE, make more....

music for thought - Just to Be Different - Joe Budden.

What happened to individuality?

It's been a minute. There been changes, encounters, experiences, thoughts, ideas, actions, time wasted - but life goes on.

Anyway - been reading about and came across a few interesting topics on the complexity of humanity. Ok - i made that up lol..just wanted an opening line.

Truth though - life's one complex cycle (yep - it is a cycle - you enter the world in diapers and leave in diapers). The problem is we trying to simplify it ( set rules/conform) and not embrace the complexities as an epic journey of experiences, trials and tribulations - write a book about it encounters - and ultimately the one encounter that defines the rest of our forever - the life changing encounter.

This whole pro (this and that) bullshit is based on a certain trend of conformity, and trying to define existence - making everyone live life through the eyes, opinions and ideas of one "thinker", "King", "philosopher", "writer"..when anyone can sit down, write a book and logically explain their points - with non-existent facts with enough reasonable doublt to make them believable..and who knows. maybe society 120years from now will be based on those principles.

What happened to "we are all different. Every person is unique" blah blah. Are our lives already predefined that we need to follow a certain process/procedure to get to where we need to be? It dont help with society changing and adopting to shallow, dumb and senseless standards.

Of course we want change - but what kind of change. Kerry or Obama change - there's a difference there. Sometimes we need to filter whats acceptable and what trailer trash.

I read a few pro-"women independence" blogs - based on the sole purpose of uttering a few not so positive remarks on today's man. What a bunch of bull. Im sorry to say - but just because you have had bad experiences dudes - probably because of you taste/bad choice/poor standards...- it dont make it right to diss everyone - and yet when you called the B word - its "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". There's a cool trend on the bad boys/naughty boys - and once the lil gals are done with this and want to settle - they wonder why they keep attracting the same type'o folk. We been watching - and the good folk would rather stay away from the trailer trash that dissed em and ran with the rowdy bunch...cuz twas cool.

What happened to being the one lady who never had to go through a bunch of rowdy lil boys, lost in a world of physical atrocities with no morals..

Ok - Im ranting now..so I'll stop...for now...

Lets promote individuality. You are your own person.

(written in bed of the top of my head so bear wit me - grammar and all :-) )

Catch 22

Sometimes it's worth a shot - sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it burns - sometimes its too cold. Sometimes it hurts - sometimes it's too good to be true. Sometimes it seems like you've finally got to the point where you want to be - till you get to the point where you're meant to be.

Everyday there's a new path, a new road, totally oblivious to your "plan". We sit down and decide after this, then that - but after this - that is never part of the options. It's always if's and when. The notion that one day it'll work out and be like we want it to be is nothing but a facade - a dream that keeps us from being miserable facing reality.

However - the earlier we face reality - the earlier we can achieve true happiness. There is blind conformity and acceptance of living a dream - or facing reality and achieving happiness through the simplest of thigs - the fact that few if any of our dreams ever come true - we gotta live with what we have, accpet reality, and find a way to achieve happiness from the cards we're played. Life is what you make it - after you accpet what it makes you to be.

It's a catch 22 - either you lose or you lose. Gotta find a way to achieve joy through the losses.

And smile. It wont kill you. Whatever you going through - it could be worse.

TJ

Be who you are - Respectfully.

Ever realised how everyday we seem to be doing things we are generally expected to do, or by the set rules and conforming to "accepted" standards? My goal in life is to leave a memory-even if it were to last for just an instant-something that no-1 else has done, or do things no-1 else will do, or approach things in a unique way. Failure is a result of following standards set by other people who went out of their way to find what is comfortable for themselves.

Now the sooner we realise that each individual is different, then the sooner we can be able to stop for a second, make our own rules, and live life according to our own set principles. We need to find what is comfortable for ourselves, what makes things easy for YOU. Who says what is appropriate to wear for what occasion, who says what is appropriate to say/do, who says what is the best way to treat any set situation, who says when, how, why, with whom.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind - and those who mind don't matter! I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine.

Respect is the most important aspect of humanity. If you have respect for someone/something, that'll determine your response/actions towards that element. All we need to make this world a better place is respect. This builds integrity and honesty, and everything else is a by-product.

tj

That's what she said...

"I'm a victim of society, circumstances made me who I am. Was I victimised of just willing? Am I victim or is it just an excuse. I can't tell, but all I know is growing up, at some stage, me head got lost.

The focus was on the limelight, the bright lights, nice clothes, nice cars, fancy dress nights out. Show and tell, stories, of fancy things and nights out. My best friends, were just like, gotta get the limelight - so all these nights out, meant something till lights out,

Nights cold and lonely, once the shine of the limelight, is gone, dead and buried as I turn the lights out. A time for reflection on the important, priceless moments and beings. A memory of a day when we spent some time - you made me smile, you gave me hope, you made me laugh - I felt special, wanted, needed, respected, honoured, loved...It didn't seem so clear in themidst of all the bright lights, but now it is - cuz I'm wiser and can see byond the limelight.

if I could take it alback I wouldn't - I'd want to but if that's what it takes to lead me to you - then I'mma let it be."

"When I think of you, I always get this warm, wholesome feeling, like I'm at home - u make me smile, and that's just a lil reflection of how you make me feel inside."

Yep, that's what she said.....