Friday, June 24, 2011

A flying unicorn



Capturing the emotion of the moment isn't too hard. The expressing bit is the conundrum.

Looking from the outside, it can be termed ludicrous, silly, stupid, pathetic....well, you get the point.

It's only through experience that it can be truly understood.  After all, to make a difference and defy the odds and cliches, one has to be unconventional - "uncool".

Is it the misconception of a passing moment,... or the commencement of a beautiful and inspiring lifelong experience?


Suddenly it all makes sense. Not to the rest of the world of course.

The anticipation of the next moment makes even the most patient soul watch the clock like a hawk stalking prey.  Experiencing the moment is like watching a well written script - too good to be true - surreal.

Like that dream you don't want to wake up from.  Like that childhood memory you want to re-live over and over again.  Like a cool summer breeze sunbathing along the Indian Ocean.....

A beautiful mind, intellectually gifted, a refreshing soul, new found belief in the elements thought to be of a bygone era...setting the unconventional yet coveted standard....


I've seen so may planets dancing, I've witnessed talking dragons and broke leprechauns, but never had I experienced a flying unicorn. It's absolutely fa-a-ntastic!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

I asked how she was.....

..then she spoke of sad, lonely  nights and shed tears...my heart sank!


All along the perception was of a graphic nonchalant attitude, pain free, relief, heartless....what a misunderstanding. Oh such hypocrisy in the judgement.

I was quite taken aback I literally fell back and sank into my seat. How could I have known? Wait - how could I not have known?

Life experiences maybe? Well yes. Definitely. Bias is alive and dictates  daily decisions. The hurt and disappointed had painted a cold and lonely word. A world where the core has turned into stone - lifeless.

From the start it may not have been as clear cut, but the thin veil was transparent enough, and soon enough it was revealed. There was no way it could have stayed hidden/unknown.


So much in the too good to be true belief.

Forced to confront all the hidden emotion, I sat there with that glass of Merlot staring at me like "what now?'.

A picture is coming together behind my eyelids I'm afraid to blink, let alone close them. How will I get through the night? questions and more questions arise. For the first time in a long long time, I'm stuck.

Its not from indecision on the feeling - that's rather obvious. Its "course of action".




See, the c.o.a had been decided based on the earlier "assumption", so this new "situation" does not alter much in the desired end result, but provides another option, a different route on the c.o.a. And its the easier but harder route.


It don't make sense. Well, its easier as its the safer option and almost guarantees the end result, but harder as the "journey" has to be endured through what most have generally labelled as impossible. The up-side - it ain't a game.

The previously decided upon course of action - well the opposite really. Harder but easier. No guarantees, actually greater chance of failure, but its easier to endure the journey...and its all about "playing your cards right".

Enveloped in never ending emotion, a smile creeps upon my face. The smile that had recently disappeared in the midst of all the confusion. "I'm alive." this is what life is. The emotion, the feeling, the unknown, the unexpected, the tears, the joys and laughter, the questions, the quest for better-for the best-the rare quality.....




Its at that moment that I knew what to do. Nothing. No games, no plans, no questions....


Just embrace the beauty of the moment, and take it one day at a time...one smile at a time..:)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Impossible is nothing...even for a unicorn with a broken horn.


When sadness moves, it consumes all and demands full attention.


For whatever reason, known or unknown, the soul plunges deep into the dark abyss, the gravitational pull increasing with every descent - its no longer free fall...

A misunderstood mind, misread, misquoted, assumptions, quarrels, games, dirty games. Disrespect. Unforgivable deeds, inexplicable, shameless inflicted by a confused disillusioned mind.

I'm sorry. Forgive me. I wasn't thinking.

Breathless, not Shayne Ward type, no, more CTB type. Joe Budden OLS3. Deep, unsolicited scenarios, a struggle between mind, body and soul..then in steps the heart. Watching from a distance, far enough to not be involved, but near enough to be considered.

The healing power of community and creativity withstood the initial resentment, the "big bang". Then unfolds a saga of if's but's, maybe's...questions. Too vague and probably a result of comfort over sense. Evolution vs Revolution. Man vs machine. Good vs Evil.

Dreamland?
Lost in the abyss, scratching at the walls, an attempt at climbing up, broken dirt filled nails, T-Pain hair, dressed in rags, dry, parched lips, black knees, eyes accustomed to the darkness....Suddenly something shifts on the other side.

Staring square - the world stops!

Hands tangled, minds in sync, a new path is discovered, a ladder to the top, a way forward, progress..till the second soul reaches the light first, looks back, reaches a hand, hold tight, pulls up a few inches, its heavy, but keeps holding on,...then lets go...

Happiness dies..
Twas another dream that ended way too soon.

For whatever reason, known or unknown, the soul plunges deep into the dark abyss.....

Sade insisted Love is stronger than pride, but few are privileged enough to be in-depth and versatile to the point of appreciating messages from a bygone era but would make today easier and more bearable - better.

Impossible is nothing...even for a unicorn with a broken horn.

Monday, February 7, 2011

You will be criticised, and that's ok.


You will be criticised .. and that's ok.


I've recently come across a few views based on those who felt it was their obligation to meddle into my business and leave their 2cents worth of opinion on the way things are. Cool. All this based, however, on folk who haven't the least bit of idea how things "really" are, do not know the thought process, the ideas, the success and failures, the struggle, the fight, the way forward - shallow in depth and have been taken over by the new world order based on whats "socially" acceptable, and standards set by an obviously failing society which is in need of a major upgrade.

Of course some things do get to you - and sometimes you feel you have to explain yourself - if only for that moment - because we all want to be loved right? So i did speak my mind - be it in a not so calm manner at that time, and may have said a few words that upset a few - Oh well. But I got it out there and then instead of sitting on it and letting it kill my productivity.

Having done that in the heat of the moment (which is necessary sometimes depending on the situation), took a moment to calm down, and then it hit me - "You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not please all of the people all of the time." The cliche. So easy to forget and yet so true and very unappreciated.

No-matter what you do - there will always be folk who are not happy with that. Why? Well - the simplest thing - everyone is an individual, have their own opinions and believe in them as much as you do in yours.  What makes it worse is when folk looking from the outside and don't really understand a situation (and they always think they do). So let them be - let them be entitled to their opinion. Do not let them change your values, beliefs and goals. Do it your way. And surround yourself with people with the same values - otherwise it will all just be disappointment after disappointment. Take the criticism on board (the constructive bit that is - we're not perfect), take the hating on board - use it all as much needed fuel toward achieving your goals - and be happy as well, because clearly you are making a difference.

There will always be criticism. People will set standards for you - and treat you in a way THEY would never want to be treated, Its so easy to criticize everyone and everything else instead of looking deep inside ourselves and asking questions about our own lives. "Why am i doing this?" "For whom?" "Would they do the same for me?" "Am I happy?"
"Who am I?"

We spend the most important years of our lives trying to "be something/someone" instead of focusing on being ourselves - and then "DO" something. Today is the only day you have - live for it. Have a goal and a target - but be in a situation where if you're told you have one week to live, you wont sit and wonder "what happened to my life." Do not let your goals and targets stop you from living. - after all how many times have you changed your goals to adjust to life's circumstances? You should be able to say "If I die tomorrow, I'm fine, I been blessed". Do what YOU want to do - be what YOU want to be - and if that's a cookie cutter conformist who follows the masses changing with every "new" socially accepted trend, changing like the British weather, abandoning your true background and values - so be it. So long it makes you happy. Just don't instill that on someone else. We are individuals for a reason.

Ive said it over and over again, and I think folk haven't really taken a second to really think about it, or think I were just talking outta my bottom : THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS RESPECT. Respect a fellow human being until they give you reason not to respect them. Then we wont be so quick to criticize. Maybe then we can take a second to "listen" and understand without passing judgement.


Remember - there's people who support and believe in you, and if you change your ways to suit the please those who not happy with you - then the folk who used to support and believe in you might will not be happy with you either.

Know what you stand for - and stick by it. Life's too short to worry about everyone's opinion. Prioritize.

And most of all : SMILE. Life's beautiful :) :)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Religion - In my opinion

So yes, again I say it – I am a staunch catholic, but i ain’t stupid either. Some things really do not make sense. What do we know about our existence? Why do we worry so much about keepin up appearances and impressing our peers and having everyone commend us for “doing the right thing” – “being religious”?

What’s most important is to live right as a person. Respect should come first, because every religion places importance on some form of respect..so therefore we cannot go wrong. If we respect the next person, there is no treating them bad, no judging them, no murder, theft, deceit, slander…u know the whole deal. Respect and honour – I personally think a respecting person is better than the liar who go to “church” every single Sunday/Saturday or whatever day it is.
I was having a conversation with a colleague earlier and they mentioned something that interested me “Why are Christians so quick to send someone to hell”

How do you know that this person is going to hell for whatever, for not “going to church” or for believing in Muhammad. I say focus more on your relationship with God, and not be so quick to judge others seeing as it ain’t none of your business, and you have no idea what their relationship with God.
I couldn't care less what the rest of the world thinks of me. Long as I know that at the end of the day, my relationship with God is as strong as it can be. Because regardless of what – it boils down to that, right – the reason I pray is not so my peers can commend my acts, but so that my relationship with my maker is stronger, my faith is stronger, and I can live life as a complete human being – respectfully and honourably.

See, what you do every other day reveals the kind of person you are. Your actions, thoughts, dress code, presentation – your body is a temple – treat it and present it accordingly – instead of worrying whether the rest of the world seen that i been in church and have said a prayer once a week.
Personally i respect more Muslims than I do some Christians – and I highly recommend reading on Confucianism for a lot of my fellow Christians. Hell, even the mafia had better code than most of us Christians. I ain't trying to play holy or nothing – i’m a sinner like everyone else. Just saying what i think.
I have been ridiculed and attacked for supposedly “worshipping Mary”, worshipping “The Pope”, “not reading the Bible” – all by people who do not get it. They see things from the outside and have no real understanding of what lies beneath. If i was to google something – what would probably come up first is wikipedia, or some huffington post blog, or some perez hilton view – that don’t mean that is right or that is all there there is to know. what about the link on page 15 of the search…check that one out. Maybe we can learn something or else we’d rather shut up about things we do not understand.

I do not know much about Buddhism, so i do not say much – i say what i know about Islam (which ain't much either), Confucianism, Taoism, Rastafarian movement - as i read and learn. That does not change me from my Catholic beliefs (which i will defend to the death) – it opens my eyes and helps me understand my God and His ways and tools of making us live better lives. I can boldly say a lifestyle based on Taoism is at the moment better than what we most Christians are living – especially excuses we come up with for starting new churches so as to explain and defend our everyday living. It’s sad but true – Christianity is not as it was – it is no longer what it was meant to be. The Bible has been edited so many times, a Harry Potter novel is easier to understand.

I'll quote Talib Kweli on this one :
“Every Sunday dressing up, catching gossip at its worst
Couldn't see the difference in the Baptist and the Catholic Church
Caught up in the rapture of the first chapter and second verse
If we all God’s children then what’s the word of the reverend worth
Taught early that faith is blind like justice when you facing time
If we all made in God’s image then that means his face is mine
Wait or it’s that blasphemy it’s logical it has to be
If I don’t look like my father then the way I live is bastardy
Naturally that’s confusion to a young’n trying to follow Christ
Taught that if you don’t know Jesus then you lead a hollow life
Never question the fact that Jesus was Jewish not a Christian
Or that Christianity was law according to politicians
Who was King James?
And why did he think it was so vital to remove chapters and make his own version of the Bible
They say Hell is underground and Heaven is in the sky
And they say that’s where you go when you die but how they know”

They say the Quran teach killing of the infidels. My understanding and that of a few preachers and leaders I’ve read on is that the message is to fight those that attack you until you have driven them away so they are not in a position to attack you anymore – things that many murderers get away with according to the new world’s constitution – self defence. So the word is misquoted, to justify attacking a group who clearly have a better and more religious lifestyle than ours – who show a better appreciation for their culture and religion than us.

I am not a nice person. I am not a righteous person. But in all I do – in all the nastiness and unrighteousness of my deeds – my goal is to bring an ounce of righteousness to this world.

If by the time I die I have managed to make at least one person understand respect and honour as more important than “mass opinion” –I’m content.

2seconds 30minutes later, keep the smile on :) Life's beautiful.