A flying unicorn

Capturing the emotion of the moment isn't too hard. The expressing bit is the conundrum.

Looking from the outside, it can be termed ludicrous, silly, stupid, pathetic....well, you get the point.

It's only through experience that it can be truly understood.  After all, to make a difference and defy the odds and cliches, one has to be unconventional - "uncool".

Is it the misconception of a passing moment,... or the commencement of a beautiful and inspiring lifelong experience?

Suddenly it all makes sense. Not to the rest of the world of course.

The anticipation of the next moment makes even the most patient soul watch the clock like a hawk stalking prey.  Experiencing the moment is like watching a well written script - too good to be true - surreal.

Like that dream you don't want to wake up from.  Like that childhood memory you want to re-live over and over again.  Like a cool summer breeze sunbathing along the Indian Ocean.....

A beautiful mind, intellectually gifted, a refreshing soul, new found belief in the elements thought to be of a bygone era...setting the unconventional yet coveted standard....

I've seen so may planets dancing, I've witnessed talking dragons and broke leprechauns, but never had I experienced a flying unicorn. It's absolutely fa-a-ntastic!

I asked how she was.....

..then she spoke of sad, lonely  nights and shed tears...my heart sank!

All along the perception was of a graphic nonchalant attitude, pain free, relief, heartless....what a misunderstanding. Oh such hypocrisy in the judgement.

I was quite taken aback I literally fell back and sank into my seat. How could I have known? Wait - how could I not have known?

Life experiences maybe? Well yes. Definitely. Bias is alive and dictates  daily decisions. The hurt and disappointed had painted a cold and lonely word. A world where the core has turned into stone - lifeless.

From the start it may not have been as clear cut, but the thin veil was transparent enough, and soon enough it was revealed. There was no way it could have stayed hidden/unknown.


So much in the too good to be true belief.

Forced to confront all the hidden emotion, I sat there with that glass of Merlot staring at me like "what now?'.

A picture is coming together behind my eyelids I'm afraid to blink, let alone close them. How will I get through the night? questions and more questions arise. For the first time in a long long time, I'm stuck.

Its not from indecision on the feeling - that's rather obvious. Its "course of action".

See, the c.o.a had been decided based on the earlier "assumption", so this new "situation" does not alter much in the desired end result, but provides another option, a different route on the c.o.a. And its the easier but harder route.

It don't make sense. Well, its easier as its the safer option and almost guarantees the end result, but harder as the "journey" has to be endured through what most have generally labelled as impossible. The up-side - it ain't a game.

The previously decided upon course of action - well the opposite really. Harder but easier. No guarantees, actually greater chance of failure, but its easier to endure the journey...and its all about "playing your cards right".

Enveloped in never ending emotion, a smile creeps upon my face. The smile that had recently disappeared in the midst of all the confusion. "I'm alive." this is what life is. The emotion, the feeling, the unknown, the unexpected, the tears, the joys and laughter, the questions, the quest for better-for the best-the rare quality.....

Its at that moment that I knew what to do. Nothing. No games, no plans, no questions....

Just embrace the beauty of the moment, and take it one day at a time...one smile at a time..:)

You will be criticised, and that's ok.

You will be criticised .. and that's ok.

I've recently come across a few views based on those who felt it was their obligation to meddle into my business and leave their 2cents worth of opinion on the way things are. Cool. All this based, however, on folk who haven't the least bit of idea how things "really" are, do not know the thought process, the ideas, the success and failures, the struggle, the fight, the way forward - shallow in depth and have been taken over by the new world order based on whats "socially" acceptable, and standards set by an obviously failing society which is in need of a major upgrade.

Of course some things do get to you - and sometimes you feel you have to explain yourself - if only for that moment - because we all want to be loved right? So i did speak my mind - be it in a not so calm manner at that time, and may have said a few words that upset a few - Oh well. But I got it out there and then instead of sitting on it and letting it kill my productivity.

Having done that in the heat of the moment (which is necessary sometimes depending on the situation), took a moment to calm down, and then it hit me - "You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not please all of the people all of the time." The cliche. So easy to forget and yet so true and very unappreciated.

No-matter what you do - there will always be folk who are not happy with that. Why? Well - the simplest thing - everyone is an individual, have their own opinions and believe in them as much as you do in yours.  What makes it worse is when folk looking from the outside and don't really understand a situation (and they always think they do). So let them be - let them be entitled to their opinion. Do not let them change your values, beliefs and goals. Do it your way. And surround yourself with people with the same values - otherwise it will all just be disappointment after disappointment. Take the criticism on board (the constructive bit that is - we're not perfect), take the hating on board - use it all as much needed fuel toward achieving your goals - and be happy as well, because clearly you are making a difference.

There will always be criticism. People will set standards for you - and treat you in a way THEY would never want to be treated, Its so easy to criticize everyone and everything else instead of looking deep inside ourselves and asking questions about our own lives. "Why am i doing this?" "For whom?" "Would they do the same for me?" "Am I happy?"
"Who am I?"

We spend the most important years of our lives trying to "be something/someone" instead of focusing on being ourselves - and then "DO" something. Today is the only day you have - live for it. Have a goal and a target - but be in a situation where if you're told you have one week to live, you wont sit and wonder "what happened to my life." Do not let your goals and targets stop you from living. - after all how many times have you changed your goals to adjust to life's circumstances? You should be able to say "If I die tomorrow, I'm fine, I been blessed". Do what YOU want to do - be what YOU want to be - and if that's a cookie cutter conformist who follows the masses changing with every "new" socially accepted trend, changing like the British weather, abandoning your true background and values - so be it. So long it makes you happy. Just don't instill that on someone else. We are individuals for a reason.

Ive said it over and over again, and I think folk haven't really taken a second to really think about it, or think I were just talking outta my bottom : THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS RESPECT. Respect a fellow human being until they give you reason not to respect them. Then we wont be so quick to criticize. Maybe then we can take a second to "listen" and understand without passing judgement.


Remember - there's people who support and believe in you, and if you change your ways to suit the please those who not happy with you - then the folk who used to support and believe in you might will not be happy with you either.

Know what you stand for - and stick by it. Life's too short to worry about everyone's opinion. Prioritize.

And most of all : SMILE. Life's beautiful :) :)

Yes you....

You're just too good to be true

I cant take my eyes off you

You feel like heaven to touch

OH, how I want you so much

You're just too good to be true

You smile will brighten up my day

With you it's heaven here on earth

My heart was captured by you

Cant find the word to express

Just how much you mean to me

I feel I'm 13 once again

Feelings so Innocent and pure

Even the stars that're up above

Come out and dance when you are near

The sun will shine for all day

There will be no more rainy days

Nothing's impossible with you

Holding my hand and leading me

Or be it you pushing me through

Any barriers in my way

The kinda lady I wanna show off

You'd put a smile on my momma's face

I'd be the envy of all men

Once they know of all your qualities

Honest, Truthful, Committed, Trustworthy, Sweet, Calm, Spirited, Confident, Charming, Gorgeous, Respectful, Loving, Honorable, Sexy (HOT), Intelligent, Wise

I wanna hold you for so long

OH, How I love you so much

Yes, you're too good to be true

And I cant take my eyes off you...

I need you, baby

And if it's quite alright

I need you baby

To warm a lonely night

I want you baby

To stay with me and let me love you baby

Trust in me when I say

I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:-)

Catch 22

Sometimes it's worth a shot - sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it burns - sometimes its too cold. Sometimes it hurts - sometimes it's too good to be true. Sometimes it seems like you've finally got to the point where you want to be - till you get to the point where you're meant to be.

Everyday there's a new path, a new road, totally oblivious to your "plan". We sit down and decide after this, then that - but after this - that is never part of the options. It's always if's and when. The notion that one day it'll work out and be like we want it to be is nothing but a facade - a dream that keeps us from being miserable facing reality.

However - the earlier we face reality - the earlier we can achieve true happiness. There is blind conformity and acceptance of living a dream - or facing reality and achieving happiness through the simplest of thigs - the fact that few if any of our dreams ever come true - we gotta live with what we have, accpet reality, and find a way to achieve happiness from the cards we're played. Life is what you make it - after you accpet what it makes you to be.

It's a catch 22 - either you lose or you lose. Gotta find a way to achieve joy through the losses.

And smile. It wont kill you. Whatever you going through - it could be worse.

TJ

That's what she said...

"I'm a victim of society, circumstances made me who I am. Was I victimised of just willing? Am I victim or is it just an excuse. I can't tell, but all I know is growing up, at some stage, me head got lost.

The focus was on the limelight, the bright lights, nice clothes, nice cars, fancy dress nights out. Show and tell, stories, of fancy things and nights out. My best friends, were just like, gotta get the limelight - so all these nights out, meant something till lights out,

Nights cold and lonely, once the shine of the limelight, is gone, dead and buried as I turn the lights out. A time for reflection on the important, priceless moments and beings. A memory of a day when we spent some time - you made me smile, you gave me hope, you made me laugh - I felt special, wanted, needed, respected, honoured, loved...It didn't seem so clear in themidst of all the bright lights, but now it is - cuz I'm wiser and can see byond the limelight.

if I could take it alback I wouldn't - I'd want to but if that's what it takes to lead me to you - then I'mma let it be."

"When I think of you, I always get this warm, wholesome feeling, like I'm at home - u make me smile, and that's just a lil reflection of how you make me feel inside."

Yep, that's what she said.....

One day at a time

Okay..so originally this post is supposed to be about people who touched my life (thanx Shan - another one of those who have :-) )..but i then decided some people wouldnt want to be mentioned on the www (am one of those paranoid about stalk mentality (omg this brings back memories lol) and i got a blog..how bwt them that dont lol )..So i'm just taking it "one day at a time"..

Everyone goes through changes. And do you realize how much the present contradicts with "our plans" and the things we hope to achieve, the achievements, the bubblegum stuff (fake things like cars, clothes and all), the relationships, friendships, family.

I must admit, i been one like that myself..though my biggest flaw has been believing in people too much (dunno if imma change that tho cuz i hate prejudice more than anything so i kinda give everyone chance to prove themselves like i want to be given a chance to prove myself instead of just being labelled "typica dude"). It takes just one moment - couple words, blog idea, an inspired encounter, a confrontation, a whatever moment (sometimes you juss gotta lift your head up and say "f*** it"),..so many thing..to bring the realisation that life is too short and we should take it as it comes and do what we have to with what is presented.

you meet fake people, you meet real people, friends and fam got your back, friends and fam stab you in the back(victim - damn!), you get fired, you get anew job, dump or get dumped, get into a new relationship, fall pregnant - all these are situations that give you an option - A fresh start and a new presentation of who you are and seeing as "everything happens for a reason"..have you learnt from the reason behind the "happening"..or are you still focused on the grand plan you have had for the past few and been tweaking everything to fit into the plan just to make sure it works..

take it one day at a time. Be focused on what you want, but not so narrow minded as to forget that each moment deserves its moment to pass and be acknowledged, else it'll be something you'll regret forever.

One day at a time, hoping tomorrow brings a brighter moment..

got the smile on still :-)

tj

Day One - R.I.P Michael Jackson

So, I have decided to start another blog. Again lol. Seems I'm so caught up in this virtual world I simply cannot resist the temptation to introduce something new. Oh well, I guess its allowed, seeing the number of free services, ideas going around and the emergence of new things to talk about everyday (any retard could have figured that one out). So what am I on about this time?

Well, this could get a bit personal with time, but for now its just about everyday life and things every other person goes through. meeting new people, experiencing new things, emotions (eeekk), going new places, highs and lows, happy days, disappointments, anger, complaints, appreciation...well the lot really - maybe a clip or two from the news desk and from my music catalogue. I haven’t really had the chance to rant a rave about much lately, seeing as the death of Michael Jackson seems to have taken over the virtual world as well as our everyday lives and television sets too. Jumping onto the bandwagon......

I never met him, but growing up he was my childhood hero - I haven't met anyone from my age group who wouldn’t go shopping for trousers two sizes too small so they could reveal the white socks..And the white glove..Yes the white glove - mandatory fashion accessory for an infant back in the 80's or early 90's. So yes you've figured it out, I’m an eighties kid. Anyhow, I remember mastering the moonwalk at an early age - didn’t we all think we were "smooth Criminals" - and I learned it so well it’s still stuck in me till today..helped of course by my high school years when we had our moonwalk version code-named "SLAM" to make it sound more funky/cool/whatever identity we were trying to portray in those days (good days though). Bad was the theme song...and after a dance session always end with the kick and shout "who's Bad"..lmao. And there was Thriller. For some odd reason (well not so odd now), I grew up believing it was a movie (well you can say it was). Now i know why, with the attention span of a 5year old (when I did eventually see the clip) why i believed it to be a movie. Gosh that was one long music video..And boy was/is it brilliant. That is undoubtedly the greatest music video of all time, and my first experience with "Horror movies" before being introduced to the mind blowing Friday the 13th series.

Getting a bit older, Jam took over; with its hip-hop tempo I can see when my love for hip-hop came. Black or White, Heal the World, Remember the Time, Give it to Me. Singing along, mastering the lyrics, and the dance moves. Stuck to the tellie just so I could show off the dance moves to my friends, convinced I was the coolest MJ fan and the best dancer as well. They were good days I must say.

Earth Song. They don’t care about us. Every time I’m on youtube past couple days and watching an MJ video, there has been 20 others watching the same video at the same time. No wonder why google news and Wikipedia crushed for a moment after his death. The man was a legend.

That said, he was never far from controversy. From the plastic surgery, baby dangling antics, lil boy accusations..Well..The lot. And that seemed to be all some lil boys and gals know of the man, or would like to remember of the man. Understandably when they were introduced to the wonderful world of Wacko Jacko, he may have been in the limelight for the wrong reasons. That does not however give anyone a reasons to update facebook statuses with junk and tweet pathetic words. Let the man rest in peace – black or white – this world was too much for him now.

So yes, the fairytale with the King of Pop has finally come to a screeching halt, as did the fairytale with the Princess of the World, Princess Diana (though that seemed more of a conspiracy than that of the MJ’s doctor secretly poisoning him with prescription pills). And that has taken over my first blog post.

Well, I’ll be back shortly, maybe with a totally different idea from the sad and somber one that’s I’ve just dropped. Maybe I’ll spread the smile idea from Cleo’s Diary.

Hello and Goodbye…nice to meet you.

tj