The Perpetual Struggle

This was the title of my first "personal" blog. Ended up getting extremely vocal, bulldozing its way through whoever, bashing, arrogance, criticising, analysing, truth speak..well - lets just say there was too much truth, for some, flowing on the bog. SO i closed it, cancelled the blog, and refrained from blogging for a bit. I had stepped on a few toes and had now given up my "never say die" attitude - caring too much for the thought of others. I was a hypocrite there..trying to please everyone, taking criticism to heart. Now i realize one thing, that I've always known but had suppressed - why go out of your way to please those who, well, wont do the same for you. Why care if they think your "dress sense" is not cool enough, your girl is not pretty enough, you don't go out enough, you're too fat, you're too small, you're a drunk, your boy is not good enough, you need a car, your car is not good enough, now you're just showing off, you think you know too much, you're TOO QUIET..well the list is endless of the constant criticism we all receive day in day out. So why bother, if after you've done all you can to please em, they still find something else to criticise you for. Why accept things that aren't comfortable with you, when by accepting that you are doing nothing but being a phony, a fake, a hypocrite and attracting more criticism towards yourself.

You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.

The realisation, or rebirth of this notion has sparked something within me that yearns more and more to be an individual..to be different. I have tried all this time to be different, but there has been times when i have bothered to conform just to make a few people happy/comfortable. But with new friends, old friend resurfacing, new books read..I can safely say i have people who care for me and love and appreciate me for the way i am..and especially for the way I am. I can stand on a pedestal, look uncool to the conforming public, but I know there is people who got my back..and I got theirs as well. Like Lupe said..we're LASERS! Who defined cool? Some will die chasing "The Cool" that is redefined with a new Soulja Boy track, Movado lyrics, JayZ's definition, or G-Unit clothing label. And what does life do-it goes on. How about redefining "the Cool" your own way, accepting that, and then focusing on much more important issues in life like the label on my shirt, or type of shoes i got (yes i know i love Adidas - solely cuz it ain't as cool as NIKE and em, and their "impossible is nothing" slogan lol).

So yes, the struggle does continue. In everyday life there is a perpetual struggle - for acceptance, to be different, change, love, peace...whatever it is you may be focused on and whatever it is you may find important, there is a struggle for that..even if it may seem to be laid on a silver platter (like how hard can it be to be uncool...ummm...REALLY hard trust me). There is struggle against the moral decay of society. The lack of respect to others solely for the fast they're human and they give you their respect. There is the struggle to always be right in whatever situation - look the bigger person.

What comes with the struggle is truth. No matter how many lies can be around..the truth always comes out..and in the end you do know who loves you and who does not. Winning the struggle comes in accepting mistakes and showing love and appreciation to those who respect, appreciate and love us. Realising that one conversation, no matter what the circumstances or distance - could be an eye opener, you could be inspired..and you could meet people who bound to stay and make a difference, or who are there to make a difference and disappear, closed doors could be reopened...a lot of change. it is all for a reason, and we should be thankful. Life gives for a reason and takes for a reason. Appreciate what you have, don't complain too much cuz the struggle will never stop.

So my past blog, The Perpetual Struggle, has been removed from the databases and can never resurface, but i have a new platform to speak my mind. I have found re-discovered my reason, my goals, who I wanna be, and who I want around me. And for that, I have people to thank. I reach out to you and hope you hear me, understand me, and understand the love and respect that has grown. So thank you for the difference you've made, and I hope you're here to stay.

tj

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