Forever Begins

I had a dream... No I ai't trying to be Martin Luther on this one, I literally had a dream, Monday night, and there was an encounter with Hitler. Shocking, absurd, weird, or whatever, but well, it happened - and still my stuborness shone in the presence of such a sick mind. Dont't really remember all the details - but jus that I was on the wrong side of his - and were to be executed - publicly. The dream didnt end well, and woke up sweating, screaming, mumbling prayers and I love you's lol.

Somehow - since the encounter with the Fuhrer, Ive had a strong feeling of rebirth, like I have been given a second chance. Seems a part of me really did die with that dream - if not all of me - and I was given a clean slate - to start all over again.

I know many may view this as absurd. but life is what you make it right. You believe what you want. We all want to make our lives better than they were before, improve and be better personz, whether spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, or in our shallow material needs. whatever you hold high on your priorities list, we all have a reason to start anew, afresh. A near death encounter, a dream, the birth of someone close, son, daughter, niece, the death of someone close - anything. Do not be afraid to start your forever today. Each moment can be manipulated into a sign to start anew, a reason to believe again, a clean slate.

Let's appreciate life, and take everday encounters and moments as a sign to begin your forever today. If forever began everyday, everyday can be a fresh start. Wouldnt you wanna wake up everyday and feel fresh, brand new, reborn, like the world is in your palms, like you a brand new person with a brand new chance to redo all the things you done wrong - take each task with a brand new enthusiasm....Impossible is nothing.

Wake up each morning and remind yourself - Forever Begins Today!

Love, Lotus, Soul.

he was a young grown dude,

a lil too grown for his age, he had it all going on

a fresh, brand new start,the closet was clean

not that it was too dirty from the start,

but it was a real new start

..

she was a young lil gal,

just outta her teens but seems her mind was still there,

she had it all going on,

sum lil old dudes, few grown old dudes,

couple lil young dudes, so his was a brand new style,

something new going on

something fresh for the book,

she got her game on day 1,

....

young grown dude smitten, forgot the set standards,

she had him all glowing at first,

seemed he had her all glowing too, but was it all an act?

he thinks he in love, cuz she say she think she in love - you need to slow down dude, dont rush..

someone should have told him then..

he got his swag back/on now,

trying hard just to fit in, with the lil cool dudes,

trying too hard to impress, got lost just right there,

hypocritical, character suicide,

....

now he just stuck back trying to rebuild,

while she be running wit them other dudes, or maybe got another thinking they in love..

you need to slow down lil dude, don't rush, somebody just told you now

...

"She want you more if you didn't care for her, but since you care for her, she dont care for you. Don't spoil the good person with a good soul for her."

Don't sell yourself to fall in love.

Hello

Hello. Allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is, TJ, and it's so nice to meet you. It's been a long time. Sorry I been away for so long, I never meant to leave you.

It's the rebirth.

tj

......

You never know till you know. Or maybe you just never know. Period.

Once i n a lifetime, there comes a person, or people who make such a difference, it's impossible to classify them as just a passing "friend", "crush" or waeva society may decide is the best "title" for them. Thus leading to a bunch of emotions, hopes, wishes, beliefs, changes. At that moment, you wonder the reason for the encounter. And it aint so easy when there's circumstances making the situation more unbearable..like..distance. You try and detach and it dont help, cuz every second thing is somehow linked and reminds you of the "encounter" so to speak. has it become an obsession?

The new book am reading is "The Zahir" by Paulo Coelho, and I read a commentary about the book which said "How far would you go for your obsession" Move to London? lol

So its been a while since I wrote, but nothing has changed. Still the same views, propositions, hopes and wishes. Maybe yes a few "to do's" have been fulfilled. But the ultimate seems to be hanging on, waiting for me to "grab the bull by the horn, and move to London" :-) Sometimes it's all about the leap yea. Leap of faith. or not? Especially when you dont know.

what to do.???

Do we set ourselves up for failure/disappointment?

"Have you ever fallen for someone out of your league?" "Have you watched The Obama Deception?" "Oh Eminem..." "Chrome Operating System!" "King Lebron - what happened?" "Will this be Liverpool's season?" "This could work." Microsoft bing." "Please let it work." "I'm sorry." These are all words/phrases/questions that have either been passed on to me or have been going through my head in the past few days. Questions, doubts, regrets, hopes, worries, what if's. What If? If only. Damn!

"I am finally coming to accept that I was a temporary inhabitant , there as a favour, like someone who finds himself in a beautiful mansion, eating exquisite food, aware that this is only a party, that the mansion belongs to someone else, that the food was bought by someone else, that the time will come when the lights will go out, the owners will go to bed, the servants will return to their quarters, the door will close, and he'll be out on in the street again, waiting for a taxi or a bus to restore him to the mediocrity of his everyday life...I'm going back, rather part of me is going back to the world where only what we can see, touch and explain makes sense...."

Heron Ryan. Paulo Coelho's "The Witch of Portobello".

Do we set ourselves up for disappointed. Do we guarantee our own disappointments? Day in day out we are faced by situations that need decisions to be made. Expectations to be set.. How do we set ourselves for disappointment, hurt, guarantee our own failure?

Dating :

Date/try and date/fall for someone out of your league and therefore will never see you in the same way, wishful thinking?

Try the long distance thing, believe the long distance thing will work, fall for someone far far away?

Date/Fall for someone of different race/religion, thus different beliefs, constant arguing and fighting, or just wishful thinking?

Goals and Objectives:

Believe Cleveland can win the championship (King Lebron anyone? - remember the Cleveland Curse?)

career choice - take on what we cannot manage, what is beyond our capabilities or what we do not love..all for the love of money or status - save face..pride?

Arsenal or Chelsea win the Champions League (lol - oops, had to take that shot..it was laid on a silver platter)

Standards and Expectation from relationships and friendships

"All you have is yourself. Nobody cares. Nobody. Can't trust no-one dude" - this statement was drilled into me so much if i had no character i'd be more lost than i am now.

Expecting truth honour and honesty from all relationships - apparently that's of a bygone era.

Expecting total commitment - seeing as everyone got pride and is scared of being hurt, there's always some form of holding back.

Unquestioning trust - do we really trust or do we constantly need proof?

Politicians:

have you watched The Obama Deception? he aint no saviour. Disappointed - but this one instance I can say I set myself up..how could i possibly expect him to bring any change..seriously?

The Coalition Goverment in Zimbabwe - like there would be any progress with Mugabe involved..smh

Ahmadinejad - one moment he speaks sense - the next he seems confused..

Movies and Music

The taking of Pelham 123 had Denzel and Travolta - disappointing.

Eminem's Relapse..dude..come on. Enough with the wierd voice..only works with a few tracks.

So do we need to lower our standards..or expectations? Do we need to give up the fight and accept mediocrity as fate - the road we were destined to take.

OR

Do we believe Impossible is nothing and that we create our own destiny. Go through the disappointments and hurt, syke up and get over it, and believe. Fight for it?

Do we dare stop dreaming and quit, give up hope and accept less than our set standards..less than we are willing to give?

tj