A flying unicorn

Capturing the emotion of the moment isn't too hard. The expressing bit is the conundrum.

Looking from the outside, it can be termed ludicrous, silly, stupid, pathetic....well, you get the point.

It's only through experience that it can be truly understood.  After all, to make a difference and defy the odds and cliches, one has to be unconventional - "uncool".

Is it the misconception of a passing moment,... or the commencement of a beautiful and inspiring lifelong experience?

Suddenly it all makes sense. Not to the rest of the world of course.

The anticipation of the next moment makes even the most patient soul watch the clock like a hawk stalking prey.  Experiencing the moment is like watching a well written script - too good to be true - surreal.

Like that dream you don't want to wake up from.  Like that childhood memory you want to re-live over and over again.  Like a cool summer breeze sunbathing along the Indian Ocean.....

A beautiful mind, intellectually gifted, a refreshing soul, new found belief in the elements thought to be of a bygone era...setting the unconventional yet coveted standard....

I've seen so may planets dancing, I've witnessed talking dragons and broke leprechauns, but never had I experienced a flying unicorn. It's absolutely fa-a-ntastic!

I asked how she was.....

..then she spoke of sad, lonely  nights and shed tears...my heart sank!

All along the perception was of a graphic nonchalant attitude, pain free, relief, heartless....what a misunderstanding. Oh such hypocrisy in the judgement.

I was quite taken aback I literally fell back and sank into my seat. How could I have known? Wait - how could I not have known?

Life experiences maybe? Well yes. Definitely. Bias is alive and dictates  daily decisions. The hurt and disappointed had painted a cold and lonely word. A world where the core has turned into stone - lifeless.

From the start it may not have been as clear cut, but the thin veil was transparent enough, and soon enough it was revealed. There was no way it could have stayed hidden/unknown.


So much in the too good to be true belief.

Forced to confront all the hidden emotion, I sat there with that glass of Merlot staring at me like "what now?'.

A picture is coming together behind my eyelids I'm afraid to blink, let alone close them. How will I get through the night? questions and more questions arise. For the first time in a long long time, I'm stuck.

Its not from indecision on the feeling - that's rather obvious. Its "course of action".

See, the c.o.a had been decided based on the earlier "assumption", so this new "situation" does not alter much in the desired end result, but provides another option, a different route on the c.o.a. And its the easier but harder route.

It don't make sense. Well, its easier as its the safer option and almost guarantees the end result, but harder as the "journey" has to be endured through what most have generally labelled as impossible. The up-side - it ain't a game.

The previously decided upon course of action - well the opposite really. Harder but easier. No guarantees, actually greater chance of failure, but its easier to endure the journey...and its all about "playing your cards right".

Enveloped in never ending emotion, a smile creeps upon my face. The smile that had recently disappeared in the midst of all the confusion. "I'm alive." this is what life is. The emotion, the feeling, the unknown, the unexpected, the tears, the joys and laughter, the questions, the quest for better-for the best-the rare quality.....

Its at that moment that I knew what to do. Nothing. No games, no plans, no questions....

Just embrace the beauty of the moment, and take it one day at a time...one smile at a time..:)

Impossible is nothing...even for a unicorn with a broken horn.

When sadness moves, it consumes all and demands full attention.

For whatever reason, known or unknown, the soul plunges deep into the dark abyss, the gravitational pull increasing with every descent - its no longer free fall...

A misunderstood mind, misread, misquoted, assumptions, quarrels, games, dirty games. Disrespect. Unforgivable deeds, inexplicable, shameless inflicted by a confused disillusioned mind.

I'm sorry. Forgive me. I wasn't thinking.

Breathless, not Shayne Ward type, no, more CTB type. Joe Budden OLS3. Deep, unsolicited scenarios, a struggle between mind, body and soul..then in steps the heart. Watching from a distance, far enough to not be involved, but near enough to be considered.

The healing power of community and creativity withstood the initial resentment, the "big bang". Then unfolds a saga of if's but's, maybe's...questions. Too vague and probably a result of comfort over sense. Evolution vs Revolution. Man vs machine. Good vs Evil.

Dreamland?
Lost in the abyss, scratching at the walls, an attempt at climbing up, broken dirt filled nails, T-Pain hair, dressed in rags, dry, parched lips, black knees, eyes accustomed to the darkness....Suddenly something shifts on the other side.

Staring square - the world stops!

Hands tangled, minds in sync, a new path is discovered, a ladder to the top, a way forward, progress..till the second soul reaches the light first, looks back, reaches a hand, hold tight, pulls up a few inches, its heavy, but keeps holding on,...then lets go...

Happiness dies..
Twas another dream that ended way too soon.

For whatever reason, known or unknown, the soul plunges deep into the dark abyss.....

Sade insisted Love is stronger than pride, but few are privileged enough to be in-depth and versatile to the point of appreciating messages from a bygone era but would make today easier and more bearable - better.

Impossible is nothing...even for a unicorn with a broken horn.

You will be criticised, and that's ok.

You will be criticised .. and that's ok.

I've recently come across a few views based on those who felt it was their obligation to meddle into my business and leave their 2cents worth of opinion on the way things are. Cool. All this based, however, on folk who haven't the least bit of idea how things "really" are, do not know the thought process, the ideas, the success and failures, the struggle, the fight, the way forward - shallow in depth and have been taken over by the new world order based on whats "socially" acceptable, and standards set by an obviously failing society which is in need of a major upgrade.

Of course some things do get to you - and sometimes you feel you have to explain yourself - if only for that moment - because we all want to be loved right? So i did speak my mind - be it in a not so calm manner at that time, and may have said a few words that upset a few - Oh well. But I got it out there and then instead of sitting on it and letting it kill my productivity.

Having done that in the heat of the moment (which is necessary sometimes depending on the situation), took a moment to calm down, and then it hit me - "You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not please all of the people all of the time." The cliche. So easy to forget and yet so true and very unappreciated.

No-matter what you do - there will always be folk who are not happy with that. Why? Well - the simplest thing - everyone is an individual, have their own opinions and believe in them as much as you do in yours.  What makes it worse is when folk looking from the outside and don't really understand a situation (and they always think they do). So let them be - let them be entitled to their opinion. Do not let them change your values, beliefs and goals. Do it your way. And surround yourself with people with the same values - otherwise it will all just be disappointment after disappointment. Take the criticism on board (the constructive bit that is - we're not perfect), take the hating on board - use it all as much needed fuel toward achieving your goals - and be happy as well, because clearly you are making a difference.

There will always be criticism. People will set standards for you - and treat you in a way THEY would never want to be treated, Its so easy to criticize everyone and everything else instead of looking deep inside ourselves and asking questions about our own lives. "Why am i doing this?" "For whom?" "Would they do the same for me?" "Am I happy?"
"Who am I?"

We spend the most important years of our lives trying to "be something/someone" instead of focusing on being ourselves - and then "DO" something. Today is the only day you have - live for it. Have a goal and a target - but be in a situation where if you're told you have one week to live, you wont sit and wonder "what happened to my life." Do not let your goals and targets stop you from living. - after all how many times have you changed your goals to adjust to life's circumstances? You should be able to say "If I die tomorrow, I'm fine, I been blessed". Do what YOU want to do - be what YOU want to be - and if that's a cookie cutter conformist who follows the masses changing with every "new" socially accepted trend, changing like the British weather, abandoning your true background and values - so be it. So long it makes you happy. Just don't instill that on someone else. We are individuals for a reason.

Ive said it over and over again, and I think folk haven't really taken a second to really think about it, or think I were just talking outta my bottom : THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS RESPECT. Respect a fellow human being until they give you reason not to respect them. Then we wont be so quick to criticize. Maybe then we can take a second to "listen" and understand without passing judgement.


Remember - there's people who support and believe in you, and if you change your ways to suit the please those who not happy with you - then the folk who used to support and believe in you might will not be happy with you either.

Know what you stand for - and stick by it. Life's too short to worry about everyone's opinion. Prioritize.

And most of all : SMILE. Life's beautiful :) :)

Religion - In my opinion

So yes, again I say it – I am a staunch catholic, but i ain’t stupid either. Some things really do not make sense. What do we know about our existence? Why do we worry so much about keepin up appearances and impressing our peers and having everyone commend us for “doing the right thing” – “being religious”?

What’s most important is to live right as a person. Respect should come first, because every religion places importance on some form of respect..so therefore we cannot go wrong. If we respect the next person, there is no treating them bad, no judging them, no murder, theft, deceit, slander…u know the whole deal. Respect and honour – I personally think a respecting person is better than the liar who go to “church” every single Sunday/Saturday or whatever day it is.

I was having a conversation with a colleague earlier and they mentioned something that interested me “Why are Christians so quick to send someone to hell”

How do you know that this person is going to hell for whatever, for not “going to church” or for believing in Muhammad. I say focus more on your relationship with God, and not be so quick to judge others seeing as it ain’t none of your business, and you have no idea what their relationship with God.

I couldn't care less what the rest of the world thinks of me. Long as I know that at the end of the day, my relationship with God is as strong as it can be. Because regardless of what – it boils down to that, right – the reason I pray is not so my peers can commend my acts, but so that my relationship with my maker is stronger, my faith is stronger, and I can live life as a complete human being – respectfully and honourably.

See, what you do every other day reveals the kind of person you are. Your actions, thoughts, dress code, presentation – your body is a temple – treat it and present it accordingly – instead of worrying whether the rest of the world seen that i been in church and have said a prayer once a week.

Personally i respect more Muslims than I do some Christians – and I highly recommend reading on Confucianism for a lot of my fellow Christians. Hell, even the mafia had better code than most of us Christians. I ain't trying to play holy or nothing – i’m a sinner like everyone else. Just saying what i think.

I have been ridiculed and attacked for supposedly “worshipping Mary”, worshipping “The Pope”, “not reading the Bible” – all by people who do not get it. They see things from the outside and have no real understanding of what lies beneath. If i was to google something – what would probably come up first is wikipedia, or some huffington post blog, or some perez hilton view – that don’t mean that is right or that is all there there is to know. what about the link on page 15 of the search…check that one out. Maybe we can learn something or else we’d rather shut up about things we do not understand.

I do not know much about Buddhism, so i do not say much – i say what i know about Islam (which ain't much either), Confucianism, Taoism, Rastafarian movement - as i read and learn. That does not change me from my Catholic beliefs (which i will defend to the death) – it opens my eyes and helps me understand my God and His ways and tools of making us live better lives. I can boldly say a lifestyle based on Taoism is at the moment better than what we most Christians are living – especially excuses we come up with for starting new churches so as to explain and defend our everyday living. It’s sad but true – Christianity is not as it was – it is no longer what it was meant to be. The Bible has been edited so many times, a Harry Potter novel is easier to understand.

I'll quote Talib Kweli on this one :

“Every Sunday dressing up, catching gossip at its worst

Couldn't see the difference in the Baptist and the Catholic Church

Caught up in the rapture of the first chapter and second verse

If we all God’s children then what’s the word of the reverend worth

Taught early that faith is blind like justice when you facing time

If we all made in God’s image then that means his face is mine

Wait or it’s that blasphemy it’s logical it has to be

If I don’t look like my father then the way I live is bastardy

Naturally that’s confusion to a young’n trying to follow Christ

Taught that if you don’t know Jesus then you lead a hollow life

Never question the fact that Jesus was Jewish not a Christian

Or that Christianity was law according to politicians

Who was King James?

And why did he think it was so vital to remove chapters and make his own version of the Bible

They say Hell is underground and Heaven is in the sky

And they say that’s where you go when you die but how they know”

They say the Quran teach killing of the infidels. My understanding and that of a few preachers and leaders I’ve read on is that the message is to fight those that attack you until you have driven them away so they are not in a position to attack you anymore – things that many murderers get away with according to the new world’s constitution – self defence. So the word is misquoted, to justify attacking a group who clearly have a better and more religious lifestyle than ours – who show a better appreciation for their culture and religion than us.

I am not a nice person. I am not a righteous person. But in all I do – in all the nastiness and unrighteousness of my deeds – my goal is to bring an ounce of righteousness to this world.

If by the time I die I have managed to make at least one person understand respect and honour as more important than “mass opinion” –I’m content.

2seconds 30minutes later, keep the smile on :) Life's beautiful.

All alone in a plastic environment

We all know someone in this situation. Its time to stand by the ones we care for.

All alone in a plastic environment sometimes it feels as if the world is closing in. Nothing makes sense, nothing comes together. It seems as if all the forces are conspiring to bring a whole bunch of negative aspects and the harder the struggle seems to be, the longer it seems to last. When you think you've reached rock bottom, the ground collapses, and next thing its quicksand all round.

Don't even feel like smiling, inside you feel like dying. Deep down you feel like giving up, because this world don't make no sense.

A nonchalant approach to every situation because there's no hope for a tomorrow - let alone a brighter one. Live just to live, survive just to survive.

No-one knows your pain. No-one understands. They all say "its ok", and you wonder "Do i look retarded? Don't patronize me." Everyone pretending they understand, because they knew a cousin who had a sister who had a best friend whose brother's dog's former owner's brother's best friend went through the same. Was it really similar? Do they really understand. Do they really know whats going. Do they really care????

Sometimes living in a world like this is really hard if you don't comply. Really bad if you don't conform. Especially if you trying to make a difference. They say stand there and don't complain. Gotta take it that's what it is.

No matter what you take on, no mater what you do, no matter how hard you try, change seems impossible. The forces are against you. No-one believes in you. No-one?

Hold on. Look around - there's always a reason.
My heart's been broke for a while. Yours is the only one keeping me alive.

Get off your bottom and work.

Read this interesting post from Julien over at InOverYourHead. Yes it is an old post - but how oh so relevant.

The time spent procrastinating is overwhelming. Instead of working, there is always this "analysis" period with most. "How to be more effective.", "How to be more successful at what task.".."How to get results."..so much that at the end of the day we'll all be expert analysts, but average (at best) at implementing.

One way one can never go wrong is through trial and error. Reasonably so. There is no point in pursuing an impossible task and implementing worthless methods, when it's clear from the onset that the result if failure. Instead of finding out when its "best to publish", how about publishing and then find out when its best to advertise/spread the word.

So if you get more readers on Monday than Saturday, how about you publish your work on Thursday, find out later that its better to post on Monday, and then just re-share on Monday when there is a larger audience.

Some things are just so simple. This ain't rocket science folk. Get off your bottom and get some work done. That's the only way you can make a difference - not by analysing and investigating ways of making a difference.

A New year - Time to Change The World

Yuup, its my birthday again. My new year starts today, not on the usual Jan1 like most. Due to the constantly changing stories behind the calender, I feel I shouldn't be following someone else's set standard on when its time for a "new beginning" - so I chose my birthday, makes more sense that way I think.

Time for reflection. Well, I cant honestly put all my dirty laundry on the web lol but to sum it all up - I'm glad the year is over. Hasn't been an easy one. Mostly disappointments, thought there were a lot of positives and life changing experiences/encounters (positively). Most things weren't in my control really - so guess maybe it was in the stars that I was going to have a not so epic year. Which brings a thought...

At the risk of being labelled a hippie - positive vs negative energy? I know. But think about it. Maybe i started the year in such a low note, all positive energy was sucked out and I ended up attracting negative energy. (cliché??) Thus meaning so long as it was that year, I would subconsciously move myself toward the negative aspect of anything - even if there was a chance of the positive.

Or was it just a shitty yea??

None-the-more, the years done and its a new one. New beginnings, resolutions..blah blah - the usual bureaucratic Jan 1 statements. But no long-term resolutions for me. Have decided to take it one day at a time. And a man with no resolutions might as well walk about with no purpose and head for whatever.

Its about short-term (daily/weekly/pushing it - monthly) resolutions. And let the next one be as a result of the previous one. Taking it not just one day at a time, but one resolution at a time. That way the year wont end, and on Dec 31 (or day before your birthday or whatever day you make your resolutions) we sat thinking - look how I failed at achieving that. if only i had noticed that 11 months back I could have done something about it.

The simplest element that's always taken for granted is how unpredictable life is. Life does not follow our plans. sure enough, we can try and do a lot towards turning it our way - but at the end of the day there are so many things we cannot control, and therefore meaning we have to alter and adjust our existence to life. Not life set-standards (by general people), but events which no-one can control. Death, birth, rain, snow, tax (that's a bit debatable but well)..the inevitable so to speak.

So starting with the first resolution - I"ll make it a weekly one. Nope - I ain't saying lol..but hopefully with time the results will show clearly on here.

Just had an epiphany. A lotta things need to be changed. The problem with plenty folk is they do not understand. So its always a case of explanation after explanation - and I know no1 is worth it - if they don't see it - they don't, but my God, do I love to prove people wrong lol. I know- "how modest" - well, maybe folk shouldn't be so quick to judge. :)

Taking it one resolution at a time, adjusting to situations, staying positive and giving the best, its time to change the world.

Yuup - I said that. Lets change the world (and no I ain't no hippie :) ) And lets try and get that paper while we're at it yea?

Twitter : @timonjr

We Alright

Life get's hard sometimes but you know it's gonna be all right
Not gonna run and we not givin' up, no, we gonna fight
If anybody ask how we are let them know that we all right
But when the time comes you gonna shine so bright, let them see your light
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!

Rest In Peace

Remember Uncle Joe and good ol Aunt Sheila

Way back in 04 when i was a mofo

Tony brushed shoulders with Joe on Solomons' dancefloor

thirty years Tonys senior but eyes on the same gal

Who won - obvious, Joe's car cost 3 times Tony's.

Had dude's lil gal asking "Who's Tony?"

Word : my nucca Tony tony couldnt take this

"i Love her tj" he said " what imma do"

Im thinking "Gawd Damn Joe, you did it again"

Aunt Sheila, she knows, she forgive him again

Been too many weeks since Sheila's "lil friend" came to town

Routine check at the doctors, She pregnant again :

But wait

Doctor Silas aint smiling like before,

Gosh, thats a frown, whats wrong this time

"Sheila dear, we need to do more blood tests"

"white blood cell count low, Im sorry it aint looking good"

A bit later its confirmed its HIV

"In a few more months it'll be full blown AIDS, Im sorry" as aunt Sheila wept

Uncle Joe is quiet, knows its his fault

"Lucky Tony" I thought - when the news came in

Damn, Aunt Sheila, Im sorry, but am lost for words

Tears trickling down her face

My Phat Farm t her napkin

No words came out, i just held her tight

"Lets say a prayer" I said " God aint blind"

"You good people aunt, I cant accept this - this aint the end"

"Charisma" group meetings on Fridays at church

Uncle Joe - he coming with us

Good Lawd, HIV brings you back down to Earth

Father Gabriel prays - we do rosary everyday

They say, Father Pachibora is coming to town

Father P comes, and lays hands on Aunt and Uncle

Years pass, aunt and uncle still here and looking fit

A trip to the doctors, What, theres no more HIV

A happy family, we got everyone smiling again

But WAIT

Uncle Joe, is coming home late again

Damnit, this nucca be cheating again.,

Running around town - yes He lying again

The HIV is back again

At least this time Sheila had him strapping it in

Joe had a 2nd shot and threw it down the drain

Good folk still meeting

Prayers on everyday

But Father P aint coming again

"I gave you another chance, and u wasted it away" God said

"You cant throw away the gift of life

nucca you take it or leave it"

So Uncle Joe's no-more

another relative gone, another tatoo,

another name sprayed on the car back window for a month

Another family shattered in tears

another night on my knees and another name added to my prayers

Another name chanted when we pour out the liquor..

DAMN!

Rest In Peace.

Yes you....

You're just too good to be true

I cant take my eyes off you

You feel like heaven to touch

OH, how I want you so much

You're just too good to be true

You smile will brighten up my day

With you it's heaven here on earth

My heart was captured by you

Cant find the word to express

Just how much you mean to me

I feel I'm 13 once again

Feelings so Innocent and pure

Even the stars that're up above

Come out and dance when you are near

The sun will shine for all day

There will be no more rainy days

Nothing's impossible with you

Holding my hand and leading me

Or be it you pushing me through

Any barriers in my way

The kinda lady I wanna show off

You'd put a smile on my momma's face

I'd be the envy of all men

Once they know of all your qualities

Honest, Truthful, Committed, Trustworthy, Sweet, Calm, Spirited, Confident, Charming, Gorgeous, Respectful, Loving, Honorable, Sexy (HOT), Intelligent, Wise

I wanna hold you for so long

OH, How I love you so much

Yes, you're too good to be true

And I cant take my eyes off you...

I need you, baby

And if it's quite alright

I need you baby

To warm a lonely night

I want you baby

To stay with me and let me love you baby

Trust in me when I say

I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:-)

A Story told in so many stories : edited version

It's musical - thats what it is. You'd have to understand to understand, cuz if you dont understand, then you wont understand. An open mind helps. Prejudice dosen't help. Google might come in handy. Urban dictionary probably more than should be needed. Banter, banter, banter, subliminal shots, sarcasm,

The standards set were too high - unattainable and unrealistic some complained - out of this world some said - foolish and stupid they said - naivety was the conclusion. Or was it just a fear of the possibility of achievement of set standards and therefore a non-conforming mindset - OUTCAST?hmmm??

#nowplaying Tupac - Unconditional Love

"its hard to live this life without God, so we must ask for forgiveness"

i believe - I know some are shocked cuz I dont go on about it - but yep - staunch Catholic here..

"perhaps its just a fantasy"

like U2 sang "stuck in a moment, that you cant get out of"..and not necessarily because you cant get out of it - but because it is the best moment you have ever experienced and you dont want to get out of it...

"You must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark"

For you will always be in my heart. It's Unconditional Love. Sometimes it seems as if it cant possibly get any worse - and it does - and then it seems like its the end of the world...until that lil glimmer of light shines through the crack..like a rose growing from a crack in the concrete..

"Eternally my mission is to be more than just a rap musician"

brings back that whole catch 22 notion - nothing ever turns out how we want it to..and we play the cards we're dealt. Cant always get a royal flush now can we. Make the best of the things we have.

#nowplaying "touched The Sky - Dennis Ferrer"

I touched the sky because of you. If she/he makes you feel ike you touched the sky - like Impossible is nothing....she's/he's a keeper..oh, and if "she" loves football, or at least watches it with you..a keeper (lol)..i had to say that..

#nowplaying MeatLoaf - I Would do anything for Love

..but I wont do that..and that's give up...

So my obsession with music continues - from Saosin down to Bob Marley..faithless to Tupac..Kenny G to Scooter..every bit of music made. Why? Because music is the universal language (forget football)...and wherever you go, whatever you do, whoever you meet - they can understand some form of music - so if you cant express yourself - but are musically endowed, then it can make things easier..

Impossible is nothing!

If music be the food of love - play on! If music be the food of LIFE, make more....

music for thought - Just to Be Different - Joe Budden.

What happened to individuality?

It's been a minute. There been changes, encounters, experiences, thoughts, ideas, actions, time wasted - but life goes on.

Anyway - been reading about and came across a few interesting topics on the complexity of humanity. Ok - i made that up lol..just wanted an opening line.

Truth though - life's one complex cycle (yep - it is a cycle - you enter the world in diapers and leave in diapers). The problem is we trying to simplify it ( set rules/conform) and not embrace the complexities as an epic journey of experiences, trials and tribulations - write a book about it encounters - and ultimately the one encounter that defines the rest of our forever - the life changing encounter.

This whole pro (this and that) bullshit is based on a certain trend of conformity, and trying to define existence - making everyone live life through the eyes, opinions and ideas of one "thinker", "King", "philosopher", "writer"..when anyone can sit down, write a book and logically explain their points - with non-existent facts with enough reasonable doublt to make them believable..and who knows. maybe society 120years from now will be based on those principles.

What happened to "we are all different. Every person is unique" blah blah. Are our lives already predefined that we need to follow a certain process/procedure to get to where we need to be? It dont help with society changing and adopting to shallow, dumb and senseless standards.

Of course we want change - but what kind of change. Kerry or Obama change - there's a difference there. Sometimes we need to filter whats acceptable and what trailer trash.

I read a few pro-"women independence" blogs - based on the sole purpose of uttering a few not so positive remarks on today's man. What a bunch of bull. Im sorry to say - but just because you have had bad experiences dudes - probably because of you taste/bad choice/poor standards...- it dont make it right to diss everyone - and yet when you called the B word - its "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". There's a cool trend on the bad boys/naughty boys - and once the lil gals are done with this and want to settle - they wonder why they keep attracting the same type'o folk. We been watching - and the good folk would rather stay away from the trailer trash that dissed em and ran with the rowdy bunch...cuz twas cool.

What happened to being the one lady who never had to go through a bunch of rowdy lil boys, lost in a world of physical atrocities with no morals..

Ok - Im ranting now..so I'll stop...for now...

Lets promote individuality. You are your own person.

(written in bed of the top of my head so bear wit me - grammar and all :-) )

Catch 22

Sometimes it's worth a shot - sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it burns - sometimes its too cold. Sometimes it hurts - sometimes it's too good to be true. Sometimes it seems like you've finally got to the point where you want to be - till you get to the point where you're meant to be.

Everyday there's a new path, a new road, totally oblivious to your "plan". We sit down and decide after this, then that - but after this - that is never part of the options. It's always if's and when. The notion that one day it'll work out and be like we want it to be is nothing but a facade - a dream that keeps us from being miserable facing reality.

However - the earlier we face reality - the earlier we can achieve true happiness. There is blind conformity and acceptance of living a dream - or facing reality and achieving happiness through the simplest of thigs - the fact that few if any of our dreams ever come true - we gotta live with what we have, accpet reality, and find a way to achieve happiness from the cards we're played. Life is what you make it - after you accpet what it makes you to be.

It's a catch 22 - either you lose or you lose. Gotta find a way to achieve joy through the losses.

And smile. It wont kill you. Whatever you going through - it could be worse.

TJ

Be who you are - Respectfully.

Ever realised how everyday we seem to be doing things we are generally expected to do, or by the set rules and conforming to "accepted" standards? My goal in life is to leave a memory-even if it were to last for just an instant-something that no-1 else has done, or do things no-1 else will do, or approach things in a unique way. Failure is a result of following standards set by other people who went out of their way to find what is comfortable for themselves.

Now the sooner we realise that each individual is different, then the sooner we can be able to stop for a second, make our own rules, and live life according to our own set principles. We need to find what is comfortable for ourselves, what makes things easy for YOU. Who says what is appropriate to wear for what occasion, who says what is appropriate to say/do, who says what is the best way to treat any set situation, who says when, how, why, with whom.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind - and those who mind don't matter! I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine.

Respect is the most important aspect of humanity. If you have respect for someone/something, that'll determine your response/actions towards that element. All we need to make this world a better place is respect. This builds integrity and honesty, and everything else is a by-product.

tj

That's what she said...

"I'm a victim of society, circumstances made me who I am. Was I victimised of just willing? Am I victim or is it just an excuse. I can't tell, but all I know is growing up, at some stage, me head got lost.

The focus was on the limelight, the bright lights, nice clothes, nice cars, fancy dress nights out. Show and tell, stories, of fancy things and nights out. My best friends, were just like, gotta get the limelight - so all these nights out, meant something till lights out,

Nights cold and lonely, once the shine of the limelight, is gone, dead and buried as I turn the lights out. A time for reflection on the important, priceless moments and beings. A memory of a day when we spent some time - you made me smile, you gave me hope, you made me laugh - I felt special, wanted, needed, respected, honoured, loved...It didn't seem so clear in themidst of all the bright lights, but now it is - cuz I'm wiser and can see byond the limelight.

if I could take it alback I wouldn't - I'd want to but if that's what it takes to lead me to you - then I'mma let it be."

"When I think of you, I always get this warm, wholesome feeling, like I'm at home - u make me smile, and that's just a lil reflection of how you make me feel inside."

Yep, that's what she said.....

To believe or not to believe?

I don't get "some" of this new age bullshit (some makes sense, but some is just bullocks). Pardon my french, but really - whats wrong with believing. The rewards of believing is eternal life - and the results of non believing is..nothing - we die and turn into dust. So if people wanna live their lives as believers, let them be and if they are right then they will reap the fruits - if they are not , they'll just turn into dust and that's it. Whereas, trying to change believers so they can "enjoy" the "worldly crap", if it turns that that's right then yea, dust ., coo, but if it's wrong - unending burning in hell. What the flip. Let people be. They wanna believe, let them be, live your life the way you want to. if they try change you - its ok, say no, but being a reasonable human being, one should know there is the possibility of them being wrong right. So before trying to change someone, why not consider the consequences of our beliefs being wrong.

if those who believe turn out to be right, then the reward is endless joy in paradise, if they wrong - nothing- if the non-believers turn out to be right - nothing, but if they wrong - HELL.

They say people scare you into believing. YES YES YES. Ever think that some people do believe in AIDS?

Think about it. Would you rather be wrong..

I'm just saying....

tj

Forever Begins

I had a dream... No I ai't trying to be Martin Luther on this one, I literally had a dream, Monday night, and there was an encounter with Hitler. Shocking, absurd, weird, or whatever, but well, it happened - and still my stuborness shone in the presence of such a sick mind. Dont't really remember all the details - but jus that I was on the wrong side of his - and were to be executed - publicly. The dream didnt end well, and woke up sweating, screaming, mumbling prayers and I love you's lol.

Somehow - since the encounter with the Fuhrer, Ive had a strong feeling of rebirth, like I have been given a second chance. Seems a part of me really did die with that dream - if not all of me - and I was given a clean slate - to start all over again.

I know many may view this as absurd. but life is what you make it right. You believe what you want. We all want to make our lives better than they were before, improve and be better personz, whether spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, or in our shallow material needs. whatever you hold high on your priorities list, we all have a reason to start anew, afresh. A near death encounter, a dream, the birth of someone close, son, daughter, niece, the death of someone close - anything. Do not be afraid to start your forever today. Each moment can be manipulated into a sign to start anew, a reason to believe again, a clean slate.

Let's appreciate life, and take everday encounters and moments as a sign to begin your forever today. If forever began everyday, everyday can be a fresh start. Wouldnt you wanna wake up everyday and feel fresh, brand new, reborn, like the world is in your palms, like you a brand new person with a brand new chance to redo all the things you done wrong - take each task with a brand new enthusiasm....Impossible is nothing.

Wake up each morning and remind yourself - Forever Begins Today!

Love, Lotus, Soul.

he was a young grown dude,

a lil too grown for his age, he had it all going on

a fresh, brand new start,the closet was clean

not that it was too dirty from the start,

but it was a real new start

..

she was a young lil gal,

just outta her teens but seems her mind was still there,

she had it all going on,

sum lil old dudes, few grown old dudes,

couple lil young dudes, so his was a brand new style,

something new going on

something fresh for the book,

she got her game on day 1,

....

young grown dude smitten, forgot the set standards,

she had him all glowing at first,

seemed he had her all glowing too, but was it all an act?

he thinks he in love, cuz she say she think she in love - you need to slow down dude, dont rush..

someone should have told him then..

he got his swag back/on now,

trying hard just to fit in, with the lil cool dudes,

trying too hard to impress, got lost just right there,

hypocritical, character suicide,

....

now he just stuck back trying to rebuild,

while she be running wit them other dudes, or maybe got another thinking they in love..

you need to slow down lil dude, don't rush, somebody just told you now

...

"She want you more if you didn't care for her, but since you care for her, she dont care for you. Don't spoil the good person with a good soul for her."

Don't sell yourself to fall in love.

Hello

Hello. Allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is, TJ, and it's so nice to meet you. It's been a long time. Sorry I been away for so long, I never meant to leave you.

It's the rebirth.

tj